We Love America More Than Anyone

if you can’t do your fucking job, we can find someone else who will.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was in a determinedly good mood when she sat down to lunch with reporters yesterday. She entered the room beaming and, over the course of an hour, smiled no fewer than 31 times and got off at least 23 laughs.

But her spirits soured instantly when somebody asked about the anger of the Democratic “base” over her failure to end the war in Iraq.

“Look,” she said, the chicken breast on her plate untouched. “I had, for five months, people sitting outside my home, going into my garden in San Francisco, angering neighbors, hanging their clothes from trees, building all kinds of things — Buddhas? I don’t know what they were — couches, sofas, chairs, permanent living facilities on my front sidewalk.”

Unsmilingly, she continued: “If they were poor and they were sleeping on my sidewalk, they would be arrested for loitering, but because they have ‘Impeach Bush’ across their chest, it’s the First Amendment.”

Though opposed to the war herself, Pelosi has for months been a target of an antiwar movement that believes she hasn’t done enough. Cindy Sheehan has announced a symbolic challenge to Pelosi in California’s 8th Congressional District. And the speaker is seething. Read the rest of this entry »

i read this entry at kos a few days ago, and the image immediately made me think of our friend katherine: old woman yells at cloud.

today, our local crank with eternal sand in her vagina takes on the dirty hippies of critical mass.

of course, katherine’s main concern is hypothetic mom’s and dad’s trying to get to the last inning of their kids’ baseball games. having to wait three minutes for a few hundred bikers to cross an intersection is, of course, an injustice of indescribable proportions. you see, to katherine, life in democratic society means never having to be inconvenienced. no matter how slightly. Read the rest of this entry »

No it’s not January 2009, it’s MLB playoff season.

In case you haven’t been following your baseball first this crazy thing happened. Crazy because the game was back and forth in the stickball park that is Coors Field, but also because San Diego took a 8-6 lead into the bottom of the 13th, with the all-time best closer coming in to seal the game right? right? Wrong. First the Rockies tag him for a couple runs, one more hit a bad call and the Rockies (the hottest team in baseball by the way) are catching a flight to Philadelphia, who helped contribute to probably at least three maybe four suicides in New York thanks to the tank job the Mets pulled. Read the rest of this entry »

I suppose I shoulda done this before the games all started but here goes!

Arizona v. Chicago— I like the Cubs in 5. Both of these teams can’t hit a fucking baseball to save their lives, so I like the team who has the hottest hitter right now. That’d be Alfonso Soriano, breaking Mr. Cub’s records for homeruns in a month with 14 in September. I think Brandon Webb wins two games, but the rest of the Cubs staff rallies behind Zambrano, partly in fear they might get punched in the face if they don’t! Also I predict a win on Saturday as I will be in attendance that game!

Colorado v. Philadelphia— Let’s see, the team that seems to have God, Allah, JHVH, and every other all powerful deity on their side or Philadelphia (the town that smells like armpits and swiss cheese). Don’t get me wrong I love the Phillies but I love the Rockies more. I do think the Phils will settle down and get one on Denver, but that’s not enough. Rockies in 4
Read the rest of this entry »

of course bill doesn’t know what the problem is. he’s the epitome of ignorant white america, who just can’t believe that the coloreds are so polite and well-behaved. of course he thinks he’s being persecuted, because in his mind he wasn’t being an ignorant racist. he was just patting them on the head for good behavior. what’s wrong with that?? and now, doing what the white republican male does best in this country, he’s playing the victim. poor fucking bill again. if only we knew what he was trying to say, we’d realize he’s just a really good guy who loves the blacks. Read the rest of this entry »