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Archive for the ‘Big Fuckin Deal’ Category

I got my official notification (via email of course) that I made the Dean’s List for the spring term. I’m not quite sure how I managed this, however I feel like the BJs and Cunnilingus could only have helped. Lord knows I went to class hungover and sometimes drunk. Read the rest of this entry »

i normally don’t do “personal” blogs, because they’re self-indulgent and just plain boring, but if you’ll indulge me and allow me to pass some time through the great state of ohio, that’d be great…

foreword:

basically, i deserve a vacation, people. i get shit on on a daily basis. my boss disrespects me and i’m constantly the subject of sexual harrassment. i work 70 hours a week, saturdays and sundays. the only thanks i get is a paycheck that might as well have been pissed on by the payroll clerk and handed to me with a yellow post-it, scribbled in thick sharpie, “fuck you, jason, you’re our bitch for life. mwhahaha…” Read the rest of this entry »

It’s my birthday. I’m a quarter of a century old. In the grand scheme of the space-time continum, I suppose I’m not really that old. But it seems like a really long fuckin time to me.

Here’s a short list of things I’ve done in the 25 years I’ve been wandering this planet: ate a hamburger, drove in a car, sang a song about our school janitor, loved someone, talked shit, called someone on a telephone, drank beer, saw someone get beat up, passed the 3rd grade, listened to Mike and the Mechanics, went bowling, combed my hair, pierced my nipples, bought things, worked at as a water slide attendant, swam in the ocean, went into Old Navy, watched tv, cooked eggs, ate some spaghetti my dad made me and my sister, wrote an underground school newspaper that was very bad, Read the rest of this entry »